Acupuncture Limericks

Cornelia Davies
(Nini Davies)

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Here are two new limericks for the New Year 2008. One for all those people who have resolved not to work so hard in the coming year and one for those headaches...
 

There was a young lady from Devon,
Who worked too hard, twenty-four seven.
When she wanted a chill-out,
Her delight would soon spill-out –
Acupuncture – relaxing, and… heaven!

 

  

Does your head feel it’s wrapped in a towel?
Is the stabbing so deep you could howl?
That sharp pain in your eye
May not pass you by:
So have treatment – or suffer and growl.

 

 

Acupuncturists use all their skills, 
Diagnosing and treating your ills. 
They may look at your tongue, 
Check your spleen and your lung, 
And use needles instead of those pills.

 

  

Moxibustion gives heat you can feel,
On a needle it warms through the steel:
It’s gentle and spreading
(I know what you’re dreading)
But it’s safe, and has gorgeous appeal.
 

If your pain sears through each aching joint,
Don’t use pills or take time to anoint.
Get a full diagnosis,
From your head to your toes-es:
Then the needle goes straight to the point.

 

  

If comfort’s a thing that you lack,
Have cupping to ease your sore back,
And for lowered immunity,
Accept cups with impunity,
Once your therapist masters the knack.
Limericks from the patient's experience

At first I felt flustered and scared
As my arm, I reluctantly bared,
But Doc Pins is so kind,
That now I don’t mind:
I feel great and I’m glad that I dared.

It’s true that quite a number of new patients feel nervous about their first treatment. Some of this is good old fear of the unknown… and, of course, some of it is fear of those needles! Well, the good news is that the needles are smaller than you would have imagined (they’re certainly smaller than I imagined before my first treatment!) The other piece of excellent news is that acupuncturists tend to be people who care about how other people feel, so they will go out of their way to make you feel comfortable and to explain about the treatment and answer your questions, and will guess that you might be anxious.

Something that may surprise you is that once you get over any initial fears you have about the treatment, you will probably relax on the treatment couch (yes, with the needles in place!) After the first session, if a person needs to relax during treatment, the practitioner may sit very quietly in the background once the needles are in, or may even leave the room for a short while if that is what the patient feels comfortable with. On returning after five or ten minutes, it is not uncommon to find a patient sleepily admitting that they have been snoozing.

If I’m tired beyond needing a rest,
Acupuncture’s the answer – the best.
The treatment’s good news:
I relax and then snooze,
And wake bouncy and fit – full of zest!

 

 

Can acupuncture help resolve anger?

If your liver's stagnated and tight,
As Ms Grumpy, you're ready to fight,
But when needled with skill,
You can soften your will,
And change to Ms Sweetnessandlight.

In Chinese medicine, the liver function and meridian is understood to be responsible for the smooth flow of qi (or energy). The liver is seen to have a much more comprehensive function than simply the physical one (as noted in Western science).

When someone’s liver qi is not flowing properly, it is described as stagnant. When this happens, the emotions are often affected as well as the physical body. If your acupuncturist has ever asked you, ‘How’s your temper at present?’ having just had you describe something like your joint pains or headaches, the chances are they are diagnosing a certain amount of liver qi stagnation in your system and would like confirmation of how big a part of the overall picture this syndrome is at that particular time. If it is a significant feature that day, they will take steps to treat it.
At times like this, the chances are you will emerge from your treatment feeling calmer and less easily upset than before.

If you're angry and have a short fuse,
Acupuncture has points you can use.
Liver qi that's stagnated
Can be abnegated
By needling right - that's good news!

After treatment, Mr or Ms Grumpy may not immediately change into Mr or Ms Sweetnessandlight, but, emotionally; you can feel considerably better quite quickly. This is good news for you and everyone around you!

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